


Flor de navajas

by Marium



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon divergence at season 7 finale, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Non-Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Switch Negan, Switch Rick Grimes, The Whisperers - Freeform, alternating pov, eventual sexual tension, heed that one guys it's gonna be a while before it gets any sort of pretty, minor/temporal Richonne, somewhere on the line between enemies and forced allies, the whisperers show up early, then they overlap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-28 13:11:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15707904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marium/pseuds/Marium
Summary: Alexandria’s learned its ill-meaning lesson, and for the time being, all Rick is focusing on is making ends meet and let Negan have what he wants. However, there’s only so much they can find, and they need to expand further and further in order to scavenge. It was bound to happen; they were going to find something more dangerous than walkers sooner or later.Now that has happened, and it’s Negan’s time to finally live up to the ‘I save people’ part of his speech. If he and Rick can stop wanting to kill one another long enough for that, that is.





	1. Away with the boredom

**Author's Note:**

> So! Here we are. See this fic right here? I've been planning it for a long, long time. More than a year, I think, so you can guess how excited I am to finally get it out there. Answer: Very, very excited. I sure hope you people will like it! <3  
> By the way, this fic is mainly on the TV verse, but I'm mixing elements from both show and comics, not only about the whisperers. There are others around there, probably, but the main element is that Andrea is alive and she's her comic self. Why? Because I love her and I can ;)  
> One more thing! The title of the fic is Spanish for 'Flower of knives'. If any of you happen to be familiar with it, nope, it doesn't have anything to do with the song Cruz de navajas other than I kinda adapted it to sound more like that because it sounds cool.  
> And with that said, please go ahead!

The moment Negan saw Rick, he knew something was wrong.

The tense line straightening the man’s shoulders was nothing Negan hadn’t seen a dozen times before, nor was the closed fist on the border of shaking, nor the breathless, dead silence that was always around Rick, as if he was made of stone rather than flesh, and Negan’s mere presence still managed to steal the air out of his lungs. Hell, not even the very thin layer of anxious sweat starting to form on Rick’s forehead the instant Negan was close, that Negan could just make out if he paid enough attention, was anything new. That was why for an instant, as he made his way through the cemetery-quietness of the few Alexandrians willing to meet them and towards Rick, Negan almost struggled to put his finger on it.

His mind caught up to his instinct when he took the final step that put him just that little bit into Rick’s personal space and made an amused grin rise in his face in response to the immediate tension that added up to Rick’s already stick-up-my-ass stiff body. The difference was clear now, sharp as the knife in Negan’s belt, with its handle absently rubbed by Negan’s thumb. His eyes. Rick’s reaction to Negan’s presence had never lacked fearful bitterness, of course - after all, Negan had made more than damn sure to install it right there, in the deep of the dipshit’s brain, and Negan was nothing if not top notch efficiency - but never, never before had Rick had cast his eyes down in that hatefully afraid way of his, not before Negan reminded him what it could mean, tempting Negan’s temper with the rage mixing into the blue of his eyes.

But not today. Today, Negan hadn’t seen Rick’s eyes yet, and although his most immediate reaction was giving some fang to his smirk and let a rush of power go through his veins at the thought that he had  _ finally _ gotten Rick to accept his place as a bitch, it was followed by disappointment when he realized that would mean he no longer got to piss all over the man’s ego to put him in his place. One more moment, and the disappointment was replaced by curiosity when he decided there was something else.

Rick wasn’t just showing Negan his hard-earned respect. He was cowering, making himself small in a way that made Negan realize he’d only ever seen in the man once, when he was on his knees and powerless to stop someone he loved from getting the everloving shit beaten out of their brains.

Negan moved an inch closer. No one else could have noticed, but Rick most definitely did, going by the way his head fell even more. Negan let a small laugh rumble out of the back of his throat, but other than that he did nothing. He let the silent seconds drag by, let his eyes continue inspecting the curls on top of Rick’s head, one gentle lean away from resting on the leather over Negan’s chest like a child seeking comfort from his daddy dearest.

God, how he hoped something was wrong. He hoped Rick had fucking fucked up to the deepest fuck.

But he wouldn’t get ahead of himself. He hadn’t seen Rick like this before, but then again, it’d been more than a month since he last organized a little meeting like this. For all he knew, Simon had simply finished squishing the fun out of him once Negan left the road clear for him.

The first time Negan visited Alexandria, it was to drill again into Rick’s thick skull who was boss and who was whore. The second time, it was out of simple plain boredom. The third time, well, it was a shitshow he simply couldn’t have missed. But now Rick had no remaining doubts about how shit worked or any traces of dreams of meaning shit, Negan was sure of that, and with the fight out of him, it was only natural that Rick would become  _ boooooo-riiiiiiiiiing _ . All communities lost their thrill sooner rather than later, and Alexandria might have held up a bit longer than usual, but Negan wasn’t about to do work that was beneath him just to get bored as shit in the process. He told Simon Alexandria was all his and didn’t think about it again.

But, hell, Negan was getting bored no matter what the fuck he did. His people didn’t say shit back at him, poking at the prisoners got old real fast, and even he could only fuck the boredom away for so long. And so far Rick had never failed to amuse him. It was amusing to see him swallow whatever remained of his pride and let Negan puppet him around, and it was even more amusing to see him bite back as if he was a bloodhound and not a shitty meek mouse. He’d stayed away to not dull the edge too soon, but Negan thought Rick just couldn’t bore him out.

So here he came today. And here Rick was, all but promising Negan that he’d done something to deserve a good old-fashioned punishment.

Negan knew he could trust him.

The silence kept dragging on. Rick visibly got more and more nervous, the Alexandrians were starting to whisper, and his Saviors were starting to scatter out on their own. Negan took his time rolling his tongue around on his mouth, then wetting his lips. All the time, his soft exhales made Rick’s curls wave and wave.

“Howdy, Rick” he finally said, low enough that only Rick could hear it. He might as well have whispered it into his ear. “Long fucking time no see, right? How about you show me some fun toys you have for me, then we catch up over the lemonade you’re going to give me?

Rick took a sharp inhale. He didn’t answer. Negan’s grin widened.

“Rii _ iiiii _ iiick? Take me to my shit, now.”

Rick raised his head, but he stopped before he reached Negan’s eyes, deciding instead his chin was a perfectly valid point to direct his tired eyes at. Negan cooed, raising an eyebrow.

“We have nothing for you.”

Negan’s grin widened. “Come again?”

“We have nothing for you.”

His grin widened further. His cheeks started to hurt, but damn if that spark of amusement that he’d borderline forgotten didn’t burn right back to life as his hands closed on the collar of Rick’s shirt. He slammed the man onto the fence and the metallic clank stilled everyone around them. He felt Rick’s body shake along with it; he made it still by pressing Rick harder into the metal wall. Rick finally looked him in the eye, and even though he quickly soothed his expression back into something far too dead for someone still alive, he couldn’t hide the second of panic, nor could he help the hands that went to Negan’s, now moved up to press onto Rick’s throat.

A hoarse laugh came out of Negan. Rick knew as much as he did that they were about to have some fun.

“I’m going to ask one more time, Rick” he intoned, cheery and friendly. “Cause what I just heard can’t be what you just said, right? ‘Cause, you see, it sounded like you said you don’t have anything for me. Fucking crazy, right? Should have someone look at my hearing, because I just know there’s no fucking damn way that shit came out of your goddamn pouty mouth.”

Rick’s eyes were narrowed now, and he snarled like the murderous animal Negan knew him to be when he shoved Negan’s hands away from him. “We have nothing for you” he gritted through his teeth, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Negan smiled no more.

He wished Rick had tried to fight him, but all he did was glare without a second’s break when Negan slammed him back onto the wall, raising him until his toes were all he had left of his own footing, approaching until their breaths mixed and the hairs on Rick’s beard shook with every slow inhale Negan let out. His thumb pressed onto the underside of Rick’s jaw, just where he knew it would cut his breathing, and forced him to tilt his head up.

“That’s just not acceptable, Rick” he drawled, whispered, calm as if he wasn’t already deciding who was going to take the consequences. Rick seemed particularly close to those on the lineup; they seemed slightly more competent than most, so it was a damn shame, but what was Negan to do? His hand was being forced. “You know I can be a very kind man, but you just keep grating on my nerves, prick. There’s only so many fucking chances I can give you, shitbrain.”

“I wouldn’t call you kind, Negan.”

Rick’s voice didn’t waver, didn’t show any sign of fear. His eyes, however, were stubbornly locked on the sky just past Negan’s face, and from this close, Negan had first row seats to the fascinating spectacle of how the black and blue shook within the white, could feel right over his thumb the shifting of muscles as Rick swallowed and choked on the reality of the situation. He was far too aware of what was going to happen, they both knew that, just like they both knew Rick was just this close to having a panic attack piercing through his chest. Negan could make him shed some fat tears just from blowing some air onto his face, really. And yet, Rick refused to be open about it. Couldn’t let go of the pretense that he had some control left, had to make Negan work for it as if he hadn’t owned it for weeks.

It was just like Rick, to move on that edge that left Negan unable to tell whether he was giving him what he wanted or not. And as much as it angered him, the genuine puzzlement brought him an amusement he didn’t find anywhere else nowadays. Negan bared his teeth, letting Rick decide if it was a grin or a snarl. He neared, let his nose brush Rick’s skin so lightly neither of them knew if they were actually touching, shed his hot breath on Rick’s cheek, right where it met his ear. Negan closed his eyes, letting his grimace clearly lean into grin when he felt Rick shake under his excitedly tingling fingertips.

“Alright, prick, it’s recap day” Negan mused, easy and chill as winter. “Remember that time you and the rest your band of merry men decided that it would be a fun idea to let your damn pride talk and it said that you should get on a pointless war against me? Remember how it fell short because it was so fucking stupid and useless and you never stood a sliver of a tiny itty chance but you’re so up your high horse you can’t see the most obvious facts? Remember how I was going to kill your son and take your hands, but then you begged like the little bitch you are, and I did nothing because I gave you a pity you most fucking definitely didn’t deserve, because I’m the  _ kindest _ , most considerate handsome devil you’ve ever laid eyes on? Remember that it was only a week and a half of daily offerings before I let you off the hook and then let you have not one, but two! Two weeks to get me the shit I deserve! Two weeks, Rick! Do you remember any of that? No? Is it just me? Did I dream it up? Please tell me you remember it.”

Rick’s bitch scowl didn’t shake a little. Negan’s thumb went a bit higher, digging into the soft flesh under his jaw, feeling the pulse there. He used his grip to maneuver Rick into nodding, never mind the way the man’s lips drew back into a silent grunt. Negan hummed, chipper and light.

“I thought so. You really needed the two weeks, didn’t you? You’ve all been working mighty fine for me since then! Making daddy proud and shit! Although I’m hurt I never got any thanks. And then, then we have this.” Negan’s tone dropped. His grin did, too. His next whisper was for Rick only, as his eyes drank in any sliver of fear Rick’s might give away. “I’ve been kind to you, Rick. Much more than I’ve been in a long time, much more than I should have. What makes you think you have any right to say no now? You fucking want to tempt me?”

“It’s not about what we want or not. We just can’t. We have nothing to give you.”

“Two weeks, Rick. If you’re too damn useless to do a half-assed effort and didn’t find shit, then guess what, not my problem.”

Rick’s grunt came back raised into a snarl, and this time he didn’t bother reigning it back. His arms, hanging like dead weight, were dead no more, and he didn’t hesitate to shove Negan back, to get rid of the hand on his neck. Negan made a snarl of his own, and he’d have shoved Rick back into the wall, kneeing him on his balls in the process, if Rick hadn’t spoken first.

“We did find something! It was taken!” A second later, Rick seemed to realize his temper had gotten the best of him, and a weak paleness took over his face. He didn’t backtrack, and instead repeated, somewhat softer, “It was taken away from us.”

Negan’s punishing anger froze. He was silent for a second, and then a plastic smile showed up in his still frozen face. He could have been a hot Ken doll.

“Someone took my stuff?”

Rick hesitated for a second, face slightly turned down but eyes fixed on Negan, as if trying to gauge him. He licked his lower lip. “Yeah.”

Negan’s smile stretched. His cheeks were taut and he knew they were going to be aching soon. He grabbed Rick by the sleeve of his shirt and drew him in, throwing his arm around his shoulder regardless of the way Rick obviously jumped within his skin. Smile still in place, he started walking away, dragging the other man along and making a gesture to tell his men to stay put.

“Start spilling your guts, my dearest friend Rick. I want every tiny as all fuck detail.”

He couldn’t say Rick relaxed, but the figure by his side suddenly felt marginally more human on the human-moving marble statue scale, now that he’d successfully redirected the blame. Rick made a small undefined noise under his breath, giving Negan a careful side-eyed look. He made a gesture to disengage himself from Negan’s grip, but Negan responded by digging his finger into his shoulder, hard enough to hurt.

No way he was going to let Rick get away from his grip when they still had everyone’s eyes on them. No way he was going to let Rick believe he had a right to decide to get away from him.

“It’s a group we’ve never seen before. Stumbled into them while on a run.” Rick was looking ahead, doing his best to ignore Negan’s presence beside him, even with the man’s eyes burning deep into his skin. He nibbled on his lower lip for a second. “We’ve run out of places to explore nearby, so we’ve been reaching out farther to a larger area every day. Looks like we entered their territory while we were at it and they didn’t like that.”

“And where would this territory be?”

“Somewhere up north, but I can’t give you more than that.”

Negan raised his eyebrow, but when Rick glared at him, he limited himself to rolling his eyes and made a gesture for Rick to go on.

“They, huh, they dress up like walkers. They have suits made of walker skin. It must be some sort of camouflage, I suppose, like when we cover up in guts” he clarified before Negan had time to ask what in the goddamn hell he was talking about. Negan’s brow furrowed, his eyes narrowed, and his mouth opened up slightly. Rick shrugged in a ‘I know, right?’ kind of gesture. It was the least hostile thing Negan had ever gotten out of the man. “That’s why we didn’t realize we had run into people and don’t know where exactly we did. We thought it was just a bunch of the dead.”

“Jeee-sus Christ” Negan muttered under his breath. Rick nodded. “How many of these sickos are there?”

“I don’t know. A lot. It looks like they carry walkers around them, so we can’t tell for sure. But if they can direct herds, then it doesn’t matter if it’s ten or a hundred. Anyway, they followed us here. It looked like a herd at first, but before we could do anything about it they started talking and then they drew out guns. Now, if we’d had some guns of our own to defend ourselves” Rick hissed through his teeth, giving Negan a pointed look.

Fair enough. Negan gave him a not-so-easy smile and a shrug. “Fuck, who could have known, right? Not a sad damn thing to be done about it now, is it?”

Like hell was he gonna let Rick see that he was starting to get a bit worried about this. Rick was dangerous and unpredictable enough without seeing anything he could wrongly interpret as weakness in him.

Rick glared for a few more seconds before continuing, his voice full of bitter bite. “They didn’t like us going into their area, they said. They were giving us a warning, but their leader, she said that if we go near them again we won’t be off the hook so easy. And hell, they have numbers, they have guns, and they have walkers. I believe them.”

“And this warning, it was them taking what you’d picked up, right?”

“They didn’t take it” Rick grimaced, shaking his head. “They burned it all right in front of our gates. I guess it was their way of saying they don’t give a shit about it at all, that they just really don’t want us nearby and won’t hesitate next time. It was a good haul, too. A lot of food, some good furniture, books, a bunch of batteries. It took us nearly two hours to clean it all up.”

Negan leaned back a bit, regarding Rick with eyes slightly more open than natural. He opened his mouth a couple times. “They what? They did fucking what to my stuff?”

“They burned it.”

“Real damn funny, Grimes. You think I’m going deaf? Fuck you. Hell, I sort of get it, the reasoning behind it, but what the hell. Fucking nutjobs. Who goes through that trouble and then burns it down?”

“Maybe the same kind of person who takes all of our mattresses just to leave them burning on the side of the road.”

Negan’s lips twitched into a line that was just a little bit twisted. Then, slowly, the corners turned up, and he leaned back towards Rick, close enough to feel their breathing mixing.

“Careful there, Rick” he hummed. He didn’t say anything else. By the time he moved back enough for Rick to clearly see his face again, any trace of faked good humor was gone, and he was glad to see that any bite was gone from Rick’s face, too. Now the man was just staring down, no doubt biting on his tongue to stop himself from replying.

Negan hoped he made himself bleed. He’d hope Rick would bite hard enough to cut his own tongue off, but then he wouldn’t get to hear him try to cling to his long-gone dignity, and that would be a damn shame.

He let Rick out from under his arm, the minor defiance already out of his mind. He brought his hand up, pressed it against his mouth, closed his eyes for a moment. He looked at Rick, who was looking back at him, waiting for any sort of reaction. Then he looked back to the crowd he’d left behind. Some of his men were leaning on the wall, some were chatting, and others were having fun messing with the little inhabitants of Alexandria. In hindsight, he could see that they, too, had been even more silent and fearful than usual, all pale and shrinking on themselves. He saw they were still dead silent, like dead men walking. Actually dead, the kind that didn’t make noise. It was almost like his men were a bunch of punks hanging out on a graveyard.

He hadn’t noticed it before. All his attention had been on Rick since second one. It’d been the right choice; most of Alexandrians didn’t look like they had enough spunk to be in a mood different than Rick’s. Little bitches, all of them.

Not that he could blame Rick, though. Under normal circumstances, a punishment  _ would _ be in order. Maybe, this time, not so much.

People, walking around on dead people’s skin and hanging out with walking corpses. Hell. Negan got being freaked out by that.

They sounded like they meant business, and if someone crossed that border, it’d get ugly. It was a problem. It was, most definitely, a problem.

Negan had plans to expand eventually, after all. And if he let some goth punks that had gotten out of hand intimidate him, he’d look weak. He couldn’t afford that, not when he had a bloodthirsty beast by the name of Rick Grimes waiting for a chance to pound on him. And hell, he couldn’t let anyone mess around with his providers. That was a right reserved to himself.

“They live north, you said?” Negan mused absently. Rick nodded.

“Me and Michonne, we followed them for a few miles. I’m sure they were going north.”

Negan hummed. He took a breath - not deep, not loud, not long, not anything that might make Rick notice it - and then he was all the way back to himself. He grinned and patted Rick’s cheek.

“You did good telling papa, darling. He’s gonna make sure those assholes don’t bully you anymore.”

Negan laughed at the mix of surprise and skepticism on Rick’s face. He whistled loud, immediately calling the attention of all his men. He motioned them over.

They had a lot of planning to do, after all. Yeah, this one was gonna be fun.

He’d been right: He could count on Rick for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one note: I've been mostly stuck with writing for a while, and I still kinda am, I think. I'm gonna try to be active on this, but my first priority is gonna be writing the last chapter of a fic I've left hanging for months and then I'll come back to this. Won't abandon it, promise!


	2. Wrong, wrong, wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan might think it’s all a new war game he can have fun with, and he might think that he’s the cat of this cat-and-mouse game he’s having with Rick, but he’s forgetting something important: That Rick has some thoughts of his own.

If Negan thought that Rick was one second away from falling to his knees, hands up in the air in imploring gratitude because he had decided not to kill any of them for something that was not their fault, he was wrong.

If Negan thought that Rick would feel protected and grateful because Negan was going to do something to help them against a danger they wouldn’t have faced if it wasn’t because of him in the first place, just because it was in his own personal interest to do so and not because of anything else, then he was wrong.

If Negan thought that any of this made Rick forget for a single second who his real enemy was, he was wrong. If he thought that Rick didn’t still ache for the moment in which he felt his hands get covered in Negan’s blood, he was wrong.

He was wrong. He was wrong about everything. Negan being in Alexandria was wrong. Negan being alive was wrong.

Rick closed his eyes and took in air, hoping it’d replace the burn currently settled in his chest. He pinched his nose. He needed a cool mind right now. He marginally managed to calm down, but the moment he opened his eyes again and they inevitably landed on Negan, it all went out the window.

Luckily, Negan was too busy to notice that Rick had taken a moment to stand aside and reign his temper in. After he’d informed his men of the overall outline of the problem, he’d decided to poke the Alexandrians for any information that might have flown over Rick’s head. Except, the grin he wore as he leaned in far too close into Michonne’s personal space had no pretenses of being the same sort he gave when he got close enough to Rick to crawl underneath his skin. The same was true with Rosita. He would have done the same with Maggie, too. He had, when she and Ezekiel had showed up in Alexandria to help and Negan ended up having the upper hand all the same, before sending her off back to the Hilltop under Simon’s watch.

He hadn’t hesitated to mention Glenn. He was clearly buzzing in joy when he saw the whirlwind of grief and hate on her face. It didn’t stop him from making his  _ proposition _ .

The burn was so intense now that Rick felt like he had trouble breathing. He went back to closing his eyes, searching in the dark for some self-control to cling to. He had to.

No, he didn’t want Negan to die. Not yet. Not before he made him regret the moment he crossed paths with Rick. Not before he had him on his knees, begging, crying his heart out that he was sorry. Not before Negan was stripped down of all the power and pride and disdain he had and got exposed as what he was. And Rick couldn’t do that if he jumped on him and broke his neck now.

He had to remind himself of that, just like he had to remind himself that the pang of gratefulness he’d felt when Negan decided to be cooperative rather than punishing was just something he’d been conditioned into through fear and violence. It was, just like Negan, something to root out. He couldn’t allow himself to get to a point where he thought of Negan as a human being, where he thought Negan could show sympathy, that he could appeal to any humanity in him.

Negan had refused to show any humanity to them, after all. Rick hadn’t even met him as many times as he felt he had, but that sensation pulsed through him stronger than anything else. He remembered, sharp as a stab in the ribs, how Negan had been inches away from breaking Carl’s skull with his bat - he thought it was inches, at least; his eyes had been too clouded with tears to make anything out - and how he’d quietly smiled when Rick broke down in tears and begged, wordlessly goading him for more.

(He’d thought it wouldn’t do any good. He’d thought it would only give Negan’s laughter some more depth as he splayed Carl’s blood over Rick’s face, like he had Abraham’s that first night. As it turned out, Rick still hadn’t had it in him not to break down.)

He was a pit of venom. A monster, not a human. And Rick wouldn’t think of him as anything else.

“Ricky boy! What are you doing? What’s on that thick noggin’ of yours?”

Rick snapped out of his ruminating of bitterness upon bitterness, and when he turned his face, he saw Negan leaning slightly, hands joined behind his back and smile wide and shiny. He startled a bit, but it was less than a second before his scowl was back in with full force. He straightened himself up, trying to ignore how Negan’s grin widened.

“I was just thinking.”

“No shit. Color me surprised. But then again, the clarification is very fucking much appreciated. You’ve never done anything that seemed thought-through. Wasn’t so sure you could fucking think.”

Rick gave himself a moment, then proceeded as if Negan hadn’t spoken at all, voice even and eyes on the gate behind Negan’s back. “About the best best way to ask you how much independence you’re going to let us have through all of this without getting you pissed off.”

Negan blinked twice and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Oh, but you’re going to do something? I just don’t know, Rick. I like the thought of you sitting on your asses being all kind of useless and then kissing my feet when I come back having done all your dirty job.”

Rick blinked a couple times, eyes narrowed at Negan, and then the man let out a laugh, slapping Rick’s shoulder like it was a joke among good friends. He did it strong enough that Rick had to struggle not to fall face-first into the asphalt.

“Just kidding, just kidding. You really think I’m going to let you do jackshit while me and my men go do pest control on a bunch of psychos? There’s no break from this stinking shit of a world, Rick, and most definitely not for you. Besides, if it gets tricky, then I better fucking have some poor bastard to put on the line in my place, don’t you agree?”

Rick took a moment to decide if it was worth it feeling angry at that last comment. He shook his head internally and went on. “Thank you” he mustered, trying not to choke on the bile of the words.

“More than fucking welcome, Rick! And now, I think what you were saying was something real interesting” Negan mused caressing the hairs on his chin, “something about independence, you said? Care to fucking explain?”

The look Negan was giving him made Rick feel like a frog about to be cut open in biology class. He swallowed, hoping Negan didn’t notice it. “We’re not asking to be on your level, just that you give us some leverage to act on our own if we need to, to take into account what we say. We’ll be more useful to you if we’re not, how’d you put it? Standing aside like little bitches.”

“And I guess this means that you, as the one calling the shots here, would be the one getting his chain loose?”

Now he felt like he was already being cut. His throat closed and he nodded. “I don’t make one-sided choices, but I guess you could see it like that.”

For a long moment all answer Rick had was Negan’s eyes burning on him, brow bent, lips tight in a frown. He didn’t feel any less in danger when it morphed into a wide, white grin as Negan snorted as if it was all a big hilarious joke.

“Yeah. Yeah, why the fuck not?”

Rick exhaled, already feeling his heartbeat settle down. “Thank you” he added. It was important not to forget that. Negan licked his lip, eyes sparkling on the edge of Rick’s vision.

“Don’t you get ahead of yourself, though. Just Alexandria. If you think you’re getting anywhere near Hilltop or Kingdom, you’re sadly fucking mistaken. Just ‘cause they like you better than me doesn’t mean shit. They remain under my total control.”

“Yeah, about that. The decision is yours, of course, but I was thinking that maybe it’d be best if we left them aside for this. They don’t go out scavenging and this group has no reason to go after them. I think it’d be smart if you didn’t bring them into this.”

Negan gave a breathy laugh. “Look at you, acting all innocent and selfless. Not fooling me, asshole.” Rick blinked, perplexed. Negan’s eyes hardened, although at no moment did he stop smiling. “For fuck’s fucking sake, Rick, of course they’re staying out of this. How fucking stupid do you think I fucking am? It’s bad enough that you’re going to be a part of this, you think I’m going to give weapons to three different communities that want me dead and that all happen to be your bitches? No way. They’re gonna keep growing my goddamn lunch until I decide they’re more useful elsewhere, and you better not get any fucking delusions of power. You’ve given me too much of a headache as it is.”

Rick’s lips fell open for a moment, but he quickly closed them. Replying to Negan would be all sorts of useless, he knew, so he focused instead on not letting his distaste show on his face, lest Negan fancied himself right. Of course Negan would think that Rick’s priority was to gain power. How could he even grasp the concept of Rick wanting to keep as many people as he could out of harm’s way, when he’d never even consider it himself?

And if he had briefly thought about how to use this situation on their benefit, well, that was only a secondary, far-off thought on the back of his mind.

Negan must have decided to take Rick’s silence as confirmation, because his expression was pretty much screaming ‘caught you’. He leaned back with laughter, then straightened up and clapped his hands twice.

“Alright, that’s quite enough for now. I know all you people can tell me, now what we need to do is some planning. You know, just to be safe. You’re  _ more _ than familiar with the kind of ugly shitty mess that happens when you rush into shit without giving it some proper thought, aren’t you, Rick?”

Negan’s grin was reaching widths never seen before and he blinked repeatedly at him. “I suppose I am” Rick replied dryly.

“Don’t you worry, though, even you can put info in that brain you have. We’ll be having a meeting, I’ll have some of my top people there. You can sit down and learn.”

Rick hummed and nodded. When Negan started taking him towards the gate, he followed without complaint. The sooner Negan left, the sooner Rick could work on getting back his cool. “At the Sanctuary?”

“Fuck off, Rick. You think I’m gonna let you anywhere near my home? No, it’s gonna be here. I bet you’re so fucking thrilled right now. It’s such a damn honor, right?”

Rick thought about how he felt, like there was a gun constantly pressed to the back of his head and the safe constantly clicking on and off, whenever Negan or anyone that was with him set foot on Alexandria, close to his family, close to the people whose security he was responsible for. Then he thought about Negan coming in with his big names and making themselves comfortable in the community. Honored was far from being the right way to call what he was feeling.

“In any case, I think I’ve taken far too much of your time, hm? We better get going. You’ll be seeing me soon, Rick.”

Rick felt a rush of relief when he saw Negan step away from him and call his Saviors off. He knew he was going to have to get used to the man’s presence if they were going to - God, just thinking of it felt unreal - work together. Still, he could use a break to fully grasp the concept. When Negan was just a handful steps away from being out of Alexandria, though, a thought rushed through Rick’s mind and before it was even fully settled in, he rushed forward and reached for Negan’s shoulder.

“Can you-? You’re bringing Andrea and Daryl next time” he informed as soon as Negan was facing him again. Negan’s eyebrow arched down at him.

“Oh, I am?”

“You are. You said you’d take into account what we said, right? And right now I’m saying I want them here.”

Negan scowled lightly and crossed his arms. “Interesting. I think I have to remind you, though, that the redneck piece of shit needs to be there so you shitheads don’t get too cocky, and you lost the right to the lady the moment you started planning to get rid of me. I didn’t kill anyone and I didn’t take your hands, so I think me taking her away is something you can fucking live with.”

Rick grit his teeth. No, it  _ wasn’t _ . “But what good are they to you locked up? It’s a waste. Andrea is an amazing shooter and Daryl’s got more experience tracking and hunting than anyone else I’ve ever met. Let’s be honest here, they’re more competent than most of your men, so if this gets serious, it’s better for all of us, including you, if they’re doing something useful. You’re a smart man, Negan, so surely you can see that?”

“You little-” began a Savior, but Rick didn’t even bother trying to notice who it was. In any case, Negan raised his hand and the Savior immediately went silent. Negan wasn’t paying attention to who it was, either, although he did look amused for a second before going serious again. Rick bit the inside of his cheek, doing his best not to look down while he waited for Negan’s answer.

“You’ll tell them to obey me above you. The moment this shit’s over, they’re coming back with me.”

Rick nodded. “Fair.”

And that was it before the Saviors left. Rick’s fist closed and trembled around a bar of the gate as he saw the trucks go, and it was a good few minutes after they were out of sight that he let go.

Everyone was still there, plus a few that had dared come out once they saw there was no punishment being served. Some people looked hesitantly relieved, but the ones Rick had come to think of as his family looked skeptical at best.

As he walked back towards his house to check on his children, Michonne reached out. She squeezed his shoulder and looking at her, he found the strength to offer a weak and tired, but genuine smile. Rick reached out too and let his fingers caress her as he went.

“We’re actually doing this, then. We’re working with him” she said, and Rick didn’t need her to say it for him to know that she was voicing what they all had whispered while Negan’s attention was on him. It wasn’t worded as a question, but Rick heard the one beneath nonetheless.

He covered his eyes with his hand and leaned his head back, sighing. God, how he wished he could give a different answer.

“As long as we need to.”

 

-0-o-0-o-0-

 

Daryl was in an even worse condition than when he last was under Negan’s mercy; no limbs were missing and he was actually wearing his own clothes, although they were completely covered in dirt, ragged and torn. However, on his left eye and all over his cheeks and lips, and going down his neck to disappear under his clothes was a myriad of bruises of different colors, from fading to freshly gifted. His lip was split, and try as he might, he was unable to hide the way his knee gave in every few steps.

On the other hand, the unhesitating energy behind all of Andrea’s movements showed that she had been neither injured nor starved; the scorn she allowed in her expression when she shook off the Savior carrying her into Alexandria showed that fear of punishment hadn’t been beaten into her. She was clean, and her clothes were in an even better state than when she was taken. Her hands were free, unlike Daryl’s cuffed ones, and no one stopped her when she rushed to be welcomed into Michonne’s embrace.

It was painfully clear that Negan had wanted to land on her good side. Rick didn’t need to wonder what for, not with the way the man’s eyes went up and down her back as he bit his lip.

His hands fisted and he felt bile on the back of his throat. She’d been his prisoner, but that didn’t seem like it was any kind of stop sign for him.

Rick knew better than to try Negan’s temper so soon after the last time he had, and not so early into this - the word clung to the walls of his mind, fighting being cast out - companionship. He distracted himself with the most important thing at hand; he waited with open arms when Andrea went to him next, closing his embrace tight around her and sighing with relief when he felt how solid and real she was under his touch.

He took a moment, when they parted, to look into her eyes, and the small nod she offered before moving on to the next person was enough to make him feel relieved. It didn’t last long, buried under the worry and anger he felt when his focus shifted to Daryl. He was uncuffed now and did his best to remain stoic, but he wasted no moment in accepting Rick’s embrace. Rick felt the man tremble slightly against him, and for a moment, all he knew was bloodthirst.

He was barely even done wrapping his arms around his friend when he felt a gloved hand on his shoulder, pulling him away. He turned, scowling and biting back a scathing remark, and there was, just like he already knew, Negan, denying him the right to check on one of his closest friends.

Negan, silent save for a low whistle, made Lucille swing and patted Daryl’s ass with it, not looking like he was careful with the spikes. Daryl glared for all of half a second before he was looking down and moving along. Negan smiled that smile that Rick wanted to punch off oh so very much, leaning to a side and using Lucille as a support point.

“There you see them, Rick, all safe and fucking healthy. Where’s my thanks?”

“He doesn’t look healthy, Negan” Rick replied, crossing his arms. Negan gave a disappointed huff.

“Hidden under all that ‘I play tough so you don’t know I touch my cock while thinking of you’ bullshit, I see. Fucking shame on you, Rick. Fucking shame on you. But well, as I was saying, safe as fuck and healthy as damn, Negan-branded, best quality assured. A taste of good faith, if you will, a chance to start this whole shit between us all fucking again. But let’s make this clear, Rick: They’re not doing shit.”

Rick took a sharp inhale, like every little cell in his body had suddenly grown spikes that were digging into one another. “You gotta be shitting me” he said, blank and plain. “This is ridiculous. You know they’re good assets and you’re going to shove them aside just so you can have the last word?”

“Yep!” Rick knew a lot of people who popped the ‘p’, and it was sort of cute. On Negan, he wanted to shove bleach into the little punk’s mouth. How could it be so irritating? “Glad we’re on the same page here. You’re actually hiding some handsome gray matter on that fucking skull of yours, after all!” The smile fell as fast as it had come, leaving a smaller, far less friendly one in its place. “You have them here and that’s more than enough. I’m going to leave a guy in here to make sure none of you little shits forget I still own them and try to have them do stuff and think themselves important. I don’t need to tell you what happens if my guy complains about less that spec-fucking-tacular treatment, do I?”

Rick closed his eyes, tilted his head, breathed deep. “I just don’t get it. It’s a waste.”

Negan jumped an inch where he stood and clapped, all cheery again. “Natural! That’s why Papa Neegs will explain it to you. We have a meeting overdue, don’t we?”

“Y- Yeah. We have prepared a-”

“Don’t be fucking stupid, Rick. We’re humble people, we make do with anything. Your house will do just fine.”

“My-?”

“Yes, Rick, your house, specifically” Negan confirmed with a toothy grin. “Lead the way.”

 

-0-o-0-o-0-

 

Rick groaned, externally this time. He had a hand on the edge of the table, knuckles white, and even Michonne’s attempts at calming him by placing her own over it could only do so much. “I must insist, Negan: If we’re going to fight, we’re going to need guns.”

“Nope!” Negan replied after a sip to his lemonade and a satisfied exhale. Rick’s hand gripped tighter and he felt a splinter of wood digging on his fingertip.

“You’ve already said that three times.”

“Because the answer is no. It’s not that hard to grasp, Rick, goddammit.”

“You have him!” Rick grunted, gesturing to Eugene sitting somewhere to his left, who he refused to even look at or call by name. “He can make bullets, I’m sure you’ve had him make them. You can afford to give us some, to attack, to defend ourselves.”

He cut himself when Negan raised a finger at him, pausing him while he finished his drink. When he was done, he threw the can behind him and into Rick’s floor. He planted his elbows on the table, joined hands, and rested his chin on them.

“I’m enough of a man to admit it; when you first talked about these guys, I got kinda freaked the fuck out. It’s hard nowadays to find something that still makes you think of horror movies, and they make me think of some seriously fucked up cult. But really, Rick, think about it: That’s all it is. A fucked up cult that managed to make you look like a scared schoolgirl. You didn’t have weapons or time to prepare, I’ll give you that. But me?” Negan shaked his head a bit, grinned wide wide wide, and snapped his finger. “Lemon squeezy. We can fly this one solo.”

Rick felt his left eye on the verge of twitching. He looked at Michonne, who was uncertainty looking back at him, and then back at Negan.

“What if you’re mistaken?”

“Then I’ll gladly accept you help” Negan replied with a shrug. “I’ll use you when I think it’s necessary, but until then, all you can do is give me some opinions on what my guys should do. I did say I like the idea of all of you sitting on your asses like jackasses knowing I’m out there doing your dirty work, right?”

Negan winked and showed the tip of his tongue. Then he went on to ask what exactly was the area they suspected they’d encountered the new threat so he could send someone to explore. Rick tuned it out and let Michonne and Aaron handle it.

He’d been willing to swallow it all and do this. Rosita was much more in control of her temper now than she was before the Sasha incident, but she was still as adamant as ever. Aaron and Eric hadn’t forgotten the beating Aaron had gotten. Everyone still remembered what Spencer’s guts looked like on the street. Rick himself still shook and felt his throat close and suffocate him every time he thought of Carl, kneeling on the floor and eyes closed, fully believing he was about to die.

And still, he’d spent all day trying to keep his brain and gut separate and convince everyone that this was something they needed to do. That they’d run into those people again sooner or later, that Negan could provide the security they couldn’t get on their own. That they needed help from this man they all hated. He’d tried his best to ease their disappointment into reluctant acceptance, and by the time he was done, the most disappointed of all was himself.

He wished he could get over his frustration and wounded pride long enough to take joy on the fact that Negan was sending his men to be killed.

 

-0-o-0-o-0-

 

“Rick, Rick, little prick!”

As soon as the meeting was over and he saw the Saviors starting to head towards the gate, Rick bolted on the opposite direction. He hadn’t had even a full minute before he had Negan resounding through his mind all over again. He turned on his heels, lips twisted with the effort not to shout.

“What?”

Negan’s eyes widened and he raised his free hand, although he wasn’t alarmed at all. “Whoa there, cowboy. Calm down. Look, I know I humiliated you back there, and I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I was raised to think that lying is a nasty thing to do. I’m not.”

Rick didn’t say anything. Negan came a step closer, placing Lucille in front of him, sitting between Rick’s feet. Once again, Rick felt like Negan being this close was enough to make breathing hard, out in the open air as they were. Negan must have noticed because he was positively preening, chest huffed and all, but then his smile took a strange twist. It took Rick a second to recognize that for once, it looked almost genuinely friendly. Not quite there, but it didn’t make him feel as much about to be murdered as other times.

“I know I haven’t given you too many reasons to believe me, Rick” Negan started, casual and relaxed, rolling back on his heels just enough to let Rick breathe, “but I respect you. Hell, I respect you a fuckton lot, and believe me when I tell you that’s as much of a fucking surprise for me as it is for you.”

Negan made a pause to let Rick reply. Rick’s eyes were wide, his brow twisted in a frown, and his lips firmly shut. Negan scoffed and shrugged.

“Are you an idiot who rushes into shit? I’m afraid fucking so. You lost a lot of my respect with that shitshow you pulled with the trash dwellers, and a part of it is never coming back. I thought you were smarter than that, really. I was so disappointed, it was so goddamn sad. But I didn’t punish you, did I? I only did a bluff with your boy, roughened you up a bit, and took a couple souvenirs. Because as I said, I respect you more than I’m comfortable saying out loud.”

Suddenly, the space in front of Rick’s face was full of Negan again, a grin full of fangs slashing right across his face. Rick yelped on the back of his throat, and when he tried to take a step back, he found that Negan had grabbed a tight hold of his wrist.

“As I said, you’re an idiot, but then again, fair. You were hard pressed. Don’t believe for a second I’m not one hundred fucking percent aware how you people are living here. Your people were acting up and when people do that, well, shit, they die. You thought that wouldn’t happen if you cut the problem from its root. Still fucking stupid, but I see the logic in it. You’re not really managing it, but you got it in you to be a balls-up-the-wall good leader, Rick. You just need some fairy dust and start flying, dumbo.” Negan’s hand closed tighter on Rick’s wrist and he tugged him closer. “You’ve proven you got some big iron-forged balls, Rick, and ever since you met me you’ve been doing shit you hate because you know it’s the best for your people even if they’re too goddamn dumb to see it. I’d be goddamn dumb too if I didn’t know how to appreciate that.”

Rick realized he had started breathing heavier, the air thick as it slowly slipped into his lungs. Negan tilted his head, eyes barely even blinking as he stared into Rick’s.

“Does anyone else? No. Not the fucks you’re swallowing your pride again and again for, that’s for sure. Do these people even respect you, Rick? It’d look like they do, huh? But see, the moment you turn your back they start doing whatever the fuck they want, like making bullets and shooting at me, like thinking your admittedly admirable patience is pointless and getting into the Sanctuary on their own, like trying to get me to kill you. Eugene just needed some pickles to realize I’m more worth it than you. Not that I blame them, because you’ve been a hell of mess lately. But I’m smarter. I know that’s a pity. Wanna know what I think, Rick?” Negan leaned even closer, and Rick felt his lips and whiskers and hot breath directly on his ear. A shiver born on that same point spread out all across his bones, making his fingertips tickle and his teeth feel like they were being pulled out. “I think you’re the only one of them who’s actually worth a damn.”

Rick knew it was bullshit. It was, he had no doubt about it. Therefore, he was not only terrified and ashamed, but also confused, when he felt something akin to flattery rise up to faintly color his cheeks. He backed out with a yelp, roughly shaking his hand to get free and just barely avoiding to physically shove Negan away. He paid no mind to the irritated shadow that crossed the man’s features, and when he spoke, his nerves came out as anger.

“What the hell are you getting at, Negan?”

For a moment, Negan’s lips twitched to bare his teeth on the right side, but he quickly schooled his expression down and he looked only vaguely annoyed. He crossed his arms and huffed his chest, eyes narrowed at Rick.

“Simon? The guy can boss around like a motherfucker, that’s for sure, but he’s got no vision. Dwight might have been the guy, but he’s too sore over his woman choosing the better man to handle things with a cool head. Not to mention he’s far too willing to spill my guts on the wall like it’s fucking paint for my taste. Arat, now that’s a sharp tool right there, but she’s far better at following orders than giving them. Eugene, he’s got the brains, but have you listened to him? He can handle people about as much as I can handle not having a tight warm hole to stick it into. If he got any higher than he is right now I’d have a riot in my hands faster than I’m comfortable with. And then there’s you. A guy who sees shit like it is, who’s managed to bring most of his group this far without having them hating your guts, and who’s at a low point but still manages to impress. What I’m getting at, Rick, is that you and me are worth so much more than all of these assholes, and you’re going to waste. You just gotta let me fix you up a little, because I know you can be so much more than you are. What do you say? I don’t like this hostility between us. I can get a second in command who can actually do shit on his own, and you get the privileges being one of my top guys brings. Not bad, huh?”

And in that moment, in the middle of the confusion and borderline panic he was feeling, Rick remembered why Negan scared the living daylights out of him. Because, despite everything, he was for once feeling something other than hate for Negan. Because a little part inside of him had, for a second, let the flattery turn into hesitant temptation.

Negan had killed Abraham and Glenn, and he’d been so close to killing Carl, try as he might to frame it as just a bluff. But he had also taken Daryl away and tried to turn him into one of his Saviors, and Rick had seen enough to know that he’d been interested in seducing Andrea when he took her. Maggie had stayed at the Hilltop for fear of Negan finding out, and now he didn’t allow her to come back to Alexandria. Even after what had happened, Rick could see how Carl’s interactions with Negan resembled those of a moody teenager towards an authority figure more than an enemy. Eugene had joined him without a second thought, and even though he had only Negan’s word when he said that Sasha had started to consider joining him before her accident, Rick knew that Negan didn’t shy away from saying things just the way he believed them to be, for good or for bad.

And now here he was, making Rick momentarily falter and forget that what really terrified him was how good and how determined Negan was to snake into people’s minds and taking and killing them away from him. For a moment, he understood how someone could follow Negan, when he talked in that low and borderline seductive voice of his, full of promise and potential. And that scared the shit out of him.

Rick knew that years down the line, Negan would be out of his life, no matter what it took. In a free Alexandria or out in the wilderness again, Negan wouldn’t be there. He also knew that years down the line, Negan’s grin as his shadow loomed over him would still be something that he saw on his uneasy nights of nightmares.

Rick took a step back, firmly shaking his head. “No.”

Negan’s expression fell, and for a moment, he looked like he was genuinely at a loss. Then his face was confused disappointment he didn’t try to cover.

“Rick, what I’m trying to say is that I like you. Not on a personal sense, of course, but still. You’ve got what it takes to make a difference and I want that on my side. I’m offering you some good shit here.”

“No.”

“Alright, your sense of honor, right? Kind of a fucking hassle, but it’s one of your good points. Let’s see: Your whole damn community gets onto good shit, alright? No pickups, you’ll all be part of my forces. I’d rather have just you, but shit, I’m willing to consider it.”

Rick shook his head again. “I’d rather not.”

It was a long, long, neverending moment of Negan staring, eyes boring into him like he was planning how to tear him apart, and then a smile plastered all over his face. He took a step back and gave a carefree shrug.

“Or maybe you’re just a goddamn fucking stupid as all fucking goddamn fuck idiot, and I’m trying too hard to find good shit where there’s none. Suit yourself.” 

Negan turned around, hanging Lucille on his shoulder and raising his middle finger at Rick as he walked away. Rick didn’t move, not until he saw the gate firmly closing behind Negan and his saviors.

Rick closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the air finally fill his lungs. He tried to shake off whatever that conversation with Negan was and focus on the important. Negan wanted to do this fight himself, because he wanted Alexandria to feel useless, pathetic, powerless. He turned a mercy like returning Andrea and Daryl into an humiliation. He wanted them to think that they could do nothing but obey. He wanted them too afraid to do anything.

Rick knew why Negan wanted him of his side; because he knew that Rick wasn’t afraid, not like he used to be. Negan might be on his nightmares and the underside of his skin might crawl with little sharp icicles when he saw him, but Rick wasn’t afraid. Not afraid to the point of freezing and stop thinking, to stop acting. Not anymore, not ever. He wouldn’t be silent and pliant.

If Negan thought that Alexandria had given up on fighting, he was wrong. If Negan thought that he had control over Rick, he had never in his life been so wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just wanna let you people know that tomorrow I'm gonna be going abroad because I'm gonna spend a year studying in Ireland. I have no intention at all to leave this hanging, but for a few days I'm gonna be busy settling in, and I want to make the most out of this, socially speaking, so I won't promise regular updates. Again, this isn't gonna be hanging, but I thought I should give you all a heads up about it.


End file.
